My Helplessness .... I wil go Mad

20:50, 13 Dec 2011


Sk is a dangerous man isse bahut dar lagta hai

20:28, 17 Dec 2011

My cel was wd sip wen ur sms came and he saw me wd dose eyes which i cant dijest

12:08, 23 Dec 2011

Did u read d coment? Blog was very good. I still cant believe that some one can write for me. I dont know ur feelings for me but about one thing i m certain u want to see me happy. I have not felt like dis before. I want to share everything wd u i want to spend my whole time wd u i know i disturb u smtime and u dont say anything as u dont want to hurt me. It may b ur respect, affection or love towards me, watever it is i have never felt dis feeling ever.thanks. U wl always b my sweet boy whom i can trust more than anyone in life.

21:37, 27 Dec 2011

I wl try to cm as early as possible wait for me i want to chat he has become violent again

21:40, 27 Dec 2011

Dont sms

08:26, 28 Dec 2011

Hi I m sorry I kept u waiting he was very bad last nite took my cel also if he goes to of. I wl cal u in lunch time.

10:32, 29 Dec 2011

Hi how r u? I m nt ok he had kept my cel wd him nt gn to of. Dont sms til i signal

19:32, 3 Jan

Haha ye mere gale me jo saamp hai ye kahan jayega isse door bhagna chahti hun bahut tang karta hai

19:49, 3 Jan

Is rawan k saath reh rahi hun u cant imagine my plight

20:03, 3 Jan

Maine 25 saal laga diye par ise khush karna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai

20:05, 3 Jan

Don ka bhi baap hai bye

22:09, 4 Jan

Sorry wont b able to chat dirty man is showing his actions wl chat in d morning mis u wont u take me away even for 1 day

23:21, 4 Jan

God is not kind to me

11;11, 5 Jan

Ys i m so very sorry to involve u in all dis shit wat r u getting from dis frndship u were so tired and instead of decreasing ur tensions and wories i add mine everyday i cant make anyone happy

19;13, 6 Jan

Nothing new but stil it hurts he abuses me so much

19:15, 6 Jan

He says so disgusting and dirty things abt me dat a normal man cant even hear abt his wife

17:41, 9 Jan

In d morning he abused me like anything without my fault. D more he hurts me more i become close to u

18:56, 10 Jan

He is so difficult he hates me so much abusing like anything without any reason

22:03, 14 Jan

I hv taken 2 sl pils so hopefuly i wl sleep dis man wl kil me he hit me very hard dont wory abt me god is also on his side

10:38, 15 Jan

I m in hospital for xray my shoulder is paining and i cant move my arm. And i have frnds in police i wl talk to some divorce lawyer but he bribes them all wd one way or other

TRAP In Life...

Sleepily, I swung from one side to other in my bed. I heard someone stomping around here and there in my room. Irritated of the noise, I woke up. Initially I feared that it might be a thief. I switched on the light lying nearby, and saw a female pacing in my room...! Was it a ghost…?? Alarmed, I hollered at her to identify herself. To my surprise, she was crying. I felt as if she wanted to say something to me. I developed some sense of sympathy for her. Slowly, I got up from my bed and hesitantly I offered her some water and asked why she was crying. She warmed up a bit and narrated her story. After hearing her story, a chill ran through my spine. Her story seemed so unreal…nothing like I have heard before. I tried to reason why this ghost had come to me. What did it expect from me? How could I help her in any manner…'aa chal ke tuzhe mai le kar chaloo ek aese gagan ke tale' kind of a situation had arisen. I gave her a hug trying to soothe her. I held on to her and lend her my shoulder to cry on. I could relate myself with the child hero of 6th Sense. At this time she calmed down and composed herself. She waved her hand. Suddenly I started shivering and pulled the quilt closer to me. OMG...where was the ghost... was this just a dream..??? But it felt so real…so genuine. I was sweating from head to toe. The water bottle on the bedside table was half empty…who took this water...? The ghost had vanished into thin air…


My server at the top started rebooting itself. It went in to the archive folder and dragged out a real life experience of a woman.

She was young, beautiful and gracious, a moon among stars. A financially independent woman, supporting a family of three sisters and a mother. Life was smooth and flowing like a calm river. The only hurdle was the absence of her father, who had left to heavenly abode when she was just 15. At this tender age, when kids look for father figure, there was a vacuum. Her mother struggled a lot in rearing the girls, to give them good education, saved from the cruel hands of the society. After getting PG she joined a government job, a relieving factor for her mother.

As soon as she attained a suitable age for marriage, the family started looking for a suitable groom. Since there was demand for dowry in the same caste marriage, the family decided to marry her intercast. The boy was smart and working in one of the largest government sector company. Without knowing the man, she embraced and accepted him with all his sins and virtues. The perfect match. Dreams came true. What else was needed in life? A Job, smart husband and a house for shelter.

But all of sudden, the train of life took a sudden brake. Time stopped. All dreams shattered like a splintered glass. Mr. Husband did not respect and maltreated her. The woman, once a highly respected individual in the Indian society, was not respected in her own house. She was a high earner, independent, attractive and loving. Why Mr. Hubby treated her like a trash bin...Possibly Mr. Hubby had a bad child hood…he was not taught how to treat a woman, even if she was an enemy... probably he had seen lot of domestic disturbance in his child hood. He might have developed a psychological disorder. The irony of life is that in spite of all violence and ill treatments she still wanted to live with him and did not want to leave him. She had so much positive attitude, patience, strong will and determination. For the sake of her family, once again she sacrificed her happiness and life. She was in this trap since childhood...Sacrifice is another name of Life…

Life changed its side, all of sudden another twist came in to her life. An old acquaintance met her after about 24 years. The first time they had met, she was young, doing her job sincerely. Attracted with her, he used to write snippets about her. But she ignored him as there were a lot of people who got attracted with her charm. He was no extra ordinary, why to keep remembering him. Only memory she had about him were his snippets which he had written about her. After 24 years, that person stood in front of her all of sudden, looking for the same woman, with whom he had got attracted in his teens.

He brought happiness in to her life. She started sharing her personal life with him. Telephone calls / SMS/ chat and couple of long drives. These things changed her life. She started liking him and demanded more time with him. That guy had his own family responsibilities and a tough job. In spite of all this, he allowed intrusion in his own life. An impact of this was that she left taking anti depressant and sleeping pills. Her life had got some meaning now. A small spring had come at the dawn age. There was bliss in the air. The guy could even read her mind. She had got an outlet. She started throwing everything in to him like a deep well.

Alas...This too did not last long...her teenage son objected to this. He accused her of disloyalty with his father. He knew about her insult and domestic violence since 25 years. He justified all his father's acts in a few minutes. It was like a darkening of her life again. Her family could not tolerate her personal joys and happiness and the positive impact on their own family life.

Her soul felt trapped in some cage, where she sacrificed a lot. First, for her siblings and now for her kids. She was in trap of this cruel vicious circle of life and she was unable to come out of it.

This is the Trap of Life... that the ghost had just explained....

When you’re near me,

I close my eyes

I want to feel you by my side.

When you kiss me, I close my eyes

Want you by my side

When I realize, there’s no telling lies

Then I know it I’m in a lifetime

Making love to you

Every time it’s new

You know you’re my once in a lifetime.

When you touch me I burn inside

Cold hot chill went down my spine

When you take me so high above

Can’t get enough

Once in a lifetime

Giving all I’ve got

Love me love me not

You’re my once in a lifetime

Taking care of you

Everytime it’s new

I need you more than once in a lifetime! ..............

For My Wife- I love you !!

...I Am In Love With You...

My heart is bound to you.

My dreams have all come true.

My body feels as if it has begun anew.

I am in love with you.

You are the girl I want to kiss.

You are the girl that brought me bliss.

You are the girl I always miss.

I am in love with you.

Who else could I want more in life.

Who else could I want more as a wife.

Who else can cure my strife.

I am in love with you.

My Experiment with Friendship

Life is a journey, at what corner you meet a friend you never know. I have met a friend when I was taking a training on software development. At that time she had some problem and I used to drop her at home.
After completion of training she got a job in a small company with more challenges. She used to call me for help and I helped her even at my own cost.
Now time is changed. She is in a big company. I am on the other side of table, and seek her help on professional front. Perhaps she does not have time to help me. She has one excuse or other.
What should I do? Shall I stop asking about any help and just have plain friendship without expecting anything.

I have a Dream, a song to sing- Beautiful song from ABBA

I have a dream, a song to sing, 

to help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of the fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels, 

something good in everything I see

I believe in angels, 

when I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy, 

to help me through reality

And my destination makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels, 

something good in everything I see

I believe in angels, 

when I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing, 

to help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels, 

something good in everything I see

I believe in angels, 

when I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

Tumse Hee

Na Hai Yeh Pana
Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane
Kyun Hona Hi Hai

Tum Se Hi Din Hota Hai
Surmaiye Shaam Aati
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi

Har Ghadi Saans Aati Hai
Zindagi Kehlati Hai
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi

Na Hai Yeh Pana
Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane
Kyun Hona Hi Hai

Aankhon Mein Ankhne Teri
Bahoon Mein Baahein Teri
Mera Na Mujhe Mein Kuch Raha Hua Kya
Baaton Mein Baatein Teri
Raatein Saugatein Teri
Kyun Tera Sab Yeh Ho Gaya
Hua Kya
Mein Kahin Bhi Jata Hoon
Tumse Hi Mil Jata Hoon
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi

Shoor Mein Khamoshi Hai
Thodi Se Behoshi Hai
Tum Se Hi Tum Se Hi

Aadha Sa Wada Kabhi
Aadhe Se Jayada Kabhi
Jee Chahe Karlu Is Trah Wafa Ka
Chode Na Chote Kabhi
Tode Na Tute Kabhi
Jo Dhaga Tumse Jud Gaya Wafa Ka

Mein Tera Sharmaya Hoon
Jo Mein Ban Paya Hoon
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Raste Miljate Hai
Manzile Miljati Hai
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi

Na Hai Yeh Pana
Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane
Kyun Hona Hi Hai