Na Hai Yeh Pana
Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane
Kyun Hona Hi Hai
Tum Se Hi Din Hota Hai
Surmaiye Shaam Aati
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Har Ghadi Saans Aati Hai
Zindagi Kehlati Hai
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Na Hai Yeh Pana
Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane
Kyun Hona Hi Hai
Aankhon Mein Ankhne Teri
Bahoon Mein Baahein Teri
Mera Na Mujhe Mein Kuch Raha Hua Kya
Baaton Mein Baatein Teri
Raatein Saugatein Teri
Kyun Tera Sab Yeh Ho Gaya
Hua Kya
Mein Kahin Bhi Jata Hoon
Tumse Hi Mil Jata Hoon
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Shoor Mein Khamoshi Hai
Thodi Se Behoshi Hai
Tum Se Hi Tum Se Hi
Aadha Sa Wada Kabhi
Aadhe Se Jayada Kabhi
Jee Chahe Karlu Is Trah Wafa Ka
Chode Na Chote Kabhi
Tode Na Tute Kabhi
Jo Dhaga Tumse Jud Gaya Wafa Ka
Mein Tera Sharmaya Hoon
Jo Mein Ban Paya Hoon
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Raste Miljate Hai
Manzile Miljati Hai
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Na Hai Yeh Pana
Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane
Kyun Hona Hi Hai
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I Need You
I have enjoyed the following songs N number of times....
When I need you
I just close my eyes and Im with you
And all that I so want to give you
Its only a heartbeat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Miles and miles of empty space in between us
The telephone cant take the place of your smile
But you know I wont be travelin forever
Its cold out, but hold out, and do I like I do
When I need youI just close my eyes and
Im with you
And all that I so wanna give you babe
Its only a heartbeat away
Its not easy when the road is your driver
Honey thats a heavy load that we bear
But you know I wont be traveling a lifetime
Its cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh, I need youWhen I need loveI
hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
When I need youI just close my eyes
And youre right here by my side
Keeping me warm night and day
I just hold out my hands
I just hold out my hand
And Im with you darlin
Yes, Im with you darlin
All I wanna give you
Its only a heartbeat away
Oh I need you darling
Today I listened the following song about 15-16 times...
आओगे जब तुम ओ साजना, अंगना फूल खिलेंगे।
बरसेगा सावन झूम झूम के, दो दिल ऐसे मिलेंगे।
नैना तेरे कजरारे हैं, नैनों पे हम दिल हारे हैं,
अनजाने ही तेरे नैनों ने वादे किए कई सारे हैं।
साँसों की लय, मद्धम चले, तोसे कहे।
बरसेगा सावन झूम झूम के, दो दिल ऐसे मिलेंगे।
चंदा को ताकूँ रातों में, है ज़िन्दग़ी तेरे हाथों में,
पलकों पे झिलमिल तारें हैं, आना भरी बरसातों में।
सपनों का जहाँ, होगा खिला खिला।
बरसेगा सावन झूम झूम के, दो दिल ऐसे मिलेंगे।
When I need you
I just close my eyes and Im with you
And all that I so want to give you
Its only a heartbeat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Miles and miles of empty space in between us
The telephone cant take the place of your smile
But you know I wont be travelin forever
Its cold out, but hold out, and do I like I do
When I need youI just close my eyes and
Im with you
And all that I so wanna give you babe
Its only a heartbeat away
Its not easy when the road is your driver
Honey thats a heavy load that we bear
But you know I wont be traveling a lifetime
Its cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh, I need youWhen I need loveI
hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
When I need youI just close my eyes
And youre right here by my side
Keeping me warm night and day
I just hold out my hands
I just hold out my hand
And Im with you darlin
Yes, Im with you darlin
All I wanna give you
Its only a heartbeat away
Oh I need you darling
Today I listened the following song about 15-16 times...
आओगे जब तुम ओ साजना, अंगना फूल खिलेंगे।
बरसेगा सावन झूम झूम के, दो दिल ऐसे मिलेंगे।
नैना तेरे कजरारे हैं, नैनों पे हम दिल हारे हैं,
अनजाने ही तेरे नैनों ने वादे किए कई सारे हैं।
साँसों की लय, मद्धम चले, तोसे कहे।
बरसेगा सावन झूम झूम के, दो दिल ऐसे मिलेंगे।
चंदा को ताकूँ रातों में, है ज़िन्दग़ी तेरे हाथों में,
पलकों पे झिलमिल तारें हैं, आना भरी बरसातों में।
सपनों का जहाँ, होगा खिला खिला।
बरसेगा सावन झूम झूम के, दो दिल ऐसे मिलेंगे।
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
My Visit to VaishnoDevi, Katra, Jammu
We went to Vaishno Devi on Oct 15th. It was exciting trip for all of us as we all had gone to Vaisho Devi by Helicopter for the first time. I was accompanied with my two growing kids, wife and her parents. My mother could not accompany us due to health issue.
During this short journey of 2 days, for the first time I observed some of the safety issues, which I think authorities, should take care off. After all it’s a human life and can not be sacrificed due to negligence of others. I am listing following safety hazards which I think can cause fatal accidents:
1. The helicopter rotor fan was not stopped. The passengers were forced to board and de-board the copter while the fan was on a full speed. The gust of winds can throw a light weight man or kids away from the ground.
2. I had taken the similar ride in USA, those people were very much concerned about our safety and allowed us to board the copter only when it was completely halted. Can we expect a similar kind of boarding procedures back home? Are we waiting for a disaster to happen?
3. Bhawan complexes at Vaishno Devi are not handicapped / senior citizens friendly. If you have booked the room there, you are messed up. After about 12 km of walk on steep hill, you are forced to climb infinite stairs. There are no lifts. Simple provision of lift will help pilgrimage a lot. If you wish to enjoy facilities of lockers / cloak room or hotels, be ready to climb infinite stairs and cramp your muscles. Even administrative offices are situated on top of the hill.
4. There were lot of monkeys and lagoons on the way, which look for food and snatch the bags etc from the pilgrimage. There is no security from them.
5. I preferred to return to Jammu from Katra on bus instead of taking taxi. The bus had capacity of 20-22 people and the driver had created additional sitting space in between the aisles and on the bonnet. This has locked us and could not move here and there, not even unable to move legs and shoulder, as passengers were tightly gripped hand rest etc. This was the government bus and I am sure driver has not paid the fare collected from additional passengers to JK govt. I think it is also difficult to control the overcrowded bus in accidental zones. In case of accident it is also difficult to approach emergency gate (?).
However, my overall experience with Darshan was quite satisfactory. I had a good darshan of Devi. After first darshan we became greedy and had darshan one more time. Knowing our greed, Maa Vaishno Devi got little angry and punished us by keeping us waiting for about an hour and unnecessary walking up and down the stairs.
Since we had gone by Helicopter, we were not tired. My younger daughter explained that this time she is not able to relate the journey with religious sentiments as she has not done climbing on the hill and it is more like a picnic. It gave me another dimension to think are we required to undergo physical torture to keep our Maa happy? I think Maa needs only dedication and shradhha and nothing else. Either we walk or fly, do not matter.
On lighter side, my younger daughter had asked one question, which I could not answer to her satisfaction. Her Question is, “ How it was discovered that there lives a Goddess in this cave”?
I could answer that it’s a matter of faith. It is our belief that Maa Vaisho resides there. Also I explained the benefits of this pilgrim to local residents. They have got jobs and economic development. Have this faith not there, nobody would come to visit this place except those who love trekking and hiking. The FAITH on Maa, has brought the common man to this place, which is itself a blessing to All.
!! JAI MATA KI !!
During this short journey of 2 days, for the first time I observed some of the safety issues, which I think authorities, should take care off. After all it’s a human life and can not be sacrificed due to negligence of others. I am listing following safety hazards which I think can cause fatal accidents:
1. The helicopter rotor fan was not stopped. The passengers were forced to board and de-board the copter while the fan was on a full speed. The gust of winds can throw a light weight man or kids away from the ground.
2. I had taken the similar ride in USA, those people were very much concerned about our safety and allowed us to board the copter only when it was completely halted. Can we expect a similar kind of boarding procedures back home? Are we waiting for a disaster to happen?
3. Bhawan complexes at Vaishno Devi are not handicapped / senior citizens friendly. If you have booked the room there, you are messed up. After about 12 km of walk on steep hill, you are forced to climb infinite stairs. There are no lifts. Simple provision of lift will help pilgrimage a lot. If you wish to enjoy facilities of lockers / cloak room or hotels, be ready to climb infinite stairs and cramp your muscles. Even administrative offices are situated on top of the hill.
4. There were lot of monkeys and lagoons on the way, which look for food and snatch the bags etc from the pilgrimage. There is no security from them.
5. I preferred to return to Jammu from Katra on bus instead of taking taxi. The bus had capacity of 20-22 people and the driver had created additional sitting space in between the aisles and on the bonnet. This has locked us and could not move here and there, not even unable to move legs and shoulder, as passengers were tightly gripped hand rest etc. This was the government bus and I am sure driver has not paid the fare collected from additional passengers to JK govt. I think it is also difficult to control the overcrowded bus in accidental zones. In case of accident it is also difficult to approach emergency gate (?).
However, my overall experience with Darshan was quite satisfactory. I had a good darshan of Devi. After first darshan we became greedy and had darshan one more time. Knowing our greed, Maa Vaishno Devi got little angry and punished us by keeping us waiting for about an hour and unnecessary walking up and down the stairs.
Since we had gone by Helicopter, we were not tired. My younger daughter explained that this time she is not able to relate the journey with religious sentiments as she has not done climbing on the hill and it is more like a picnic. It gave me another dimension to think are we required to undergo physical torture to keep our Maa happy? I think Maa needs only dedication and shradhha and nothing else. Either we walk or fly, do not matter.
On lighter side, my younger daughter had asked one question, which I could not answer to her satisfaction. Her Question is, “ How it was discovered that there lives a Goddess in this cave”?
I could answer that it’s a matter of faith. It is our belief that Maa Vaisho resides there. Also I explained the benefits of this pilgrim to local residents. They have got jobs and economic development. Have this faith not there, nobody would come to visit this place except those who love trekking and hiking. The FAITH on Maa, has brought the common man to this place, which is itself a blessing to All.
!! JAI MATA KI !!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Complexities of relationships- Family
I am about 41 yrs old. During this period of life I have come across many people and relationships. The following thoughts are dedicated to my nears and dears with whom I have grown up and to a some extent they have influenced my life style / thoughts or general behaviour. But how these people behave or in other words what I expect from them and what they actually do for me,surprises me. These thoughts are one sided only and reflects only my point of view. Hurting some body's sentiments is not my intention. Most of the thoughts are fictional only and does not resemble with reality.
These are thoughts related to the frustrated relationships between parents and their children, friends, siblings, in-laws, colleagues—individuals disillusioned with themselves for not being able to relate successfully to their environs.
When I see cohesiveness of relationship exists in my friend circle or other relatives. Like my one of the friend has very good relationship with his married sister. Or when I visit my wife's relations. There is unique bondage exists among brother sister - in laws. When I see them laughing together or partying together, I feel jealous. This part of life is missing in my life. I have one brother and two sisters. I do not enjoy company of them. I do not feel like I am sitting with my siblings. Most of the time we meet like unknowns.
My sisters- elder one remains busy in her professional life and seldom talk to me. But whenever we talk, it is usually long and related to other siblings. No personal notes are exchanged most of the time. Younger one remains busy in her households chorus and office. She does not have anything to talk to me except, " How are you?". Same applies to my elder brother. I am also not in talking terms with eldest jiju and younger one like sis, does not speak much. My eldest jiju is more egoistic than practical. I want to take first step to end the hate which he has for me, but I do not how and when.
When my father died, it was expected that I will replace him, which I denied. I can not be father figure for any one. I am too young and I have elders who should handle affairs of the family. Nobody is doing that and we are at our own.
I went abroad for quite a long time. When I returned home, I was expecting a warm welcome from my siblings. But to my surprise except my parent in laws nobody was there at the airport. Not even my mother. Next day I went to my mother's place to meet her. She was happy that I have returned from heaven to burn myself in hell. I invited everyone in the family to a dinner party, so that we could sit together after a long time. Only my brother, his family and my mother attended the party. My sisters were busy in their affairs.
Soon after I had to resume my office and left my hometown. During weekend visits to hometown, it was normal expectation that somebody would come to meet me. But that has not happened. Even my mother takes excuse of her bad health and expect me to visit her for short duration.
Sometime I think, "Are all relations are such?" Am I a normal individual? Or there is something bad in me which prevents me enjoying my relationships. I do not have any successful rapport and harmony with my siblings. I want to improve it. I wish impasse present in our relationship will end, I can enjoy laughter again which I used to have in my child hood. How to strike a right chord, is a great illusion to me !! Can I live without my siblings? - No, I believe.
These are thoughts related to the frustrated relationships between parents and their children, friends, siblings, in-laws, colleagues—individuals disillusioned with themselves for not being able to relate successfully to their environs.
When I see cohesiveness of relationship exists in my friend circle or other relatives. Like my one of the friend has very good relationship with his married sister. Or when I visit my wife's relations. There is unique bondage exists among brother sister - in laws. When I see them laughing together or partying together, I feel jealous. This part of life is missing in my life. I have one brother and two sisters. I do not enjoy company of them. I do not feel like I am sitting with my siblings. Most of the time we meet like unknowns.
My sisters- elder one remains busy in her professional life and seldom talk to me. But whenever we talk, it is usually long and related to other siblings. No personal notes are exchanged most of the time. Younger one remains busy in her households chorus and office. She does not have anything to talk to me except, " How are you?". Same applies to my elder brother. I am also not in talking terms with eldest jiju and younger one like sis, does not speak much. My eldest jiju is more egoistic than practical. I want to take first step to end the hate which he has for me, but I do not how and when.
When my father died, it was expected that I will replace him, which I denied. I can not be father figure for any one. I am too young and I have elders who should handle affairs of the family. Nobody is doing that and we are at our own.
I went abroad for quite a long time. When I returned home, I was expecting a warm welcome from my siblings. But to my surprise except my parent in laws nobody was there at the airport. Not even my mother. Next day I went to my mother's place to meet her. She was happy that I have returned from heaven to burn myself in hell. I invited everyone in the family to a dinner party, so that we could sit together after a long time. Only my brother, his family and my mother attended the party. My sisters were busy in their affairs.
Soon after I had to resume my office and left my hometown. During weekend visits to hometown, it was normal expectation that somebody would come to meet me. But that has not happened. Even my mother takes excuse of her bad health and expect me to visit her for short duration.
Sometime I think, "Are all relations are such?" Am I a normal individual? Or there is something bad in me which prevents me enjoying my relationships. I do not have any successful rapport and harmony with my siblings. I want to improve it. I wish impasse present in our relationship will end, I can enjoy laughter again which I used to have in my child hood. How to strike a right chord, is a great illusion to me !! Can I live without my siblings? - No, I believe.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
My Friend- Jaya
Since childhood I have been told that a Friend in need is a Friend indeed. Here I am not talking about childhood or college friendship. I am talking about the people to whom you meet during your journey for life. You can meet them in a plane or on road or in net. After few frequent interaction you feel that you have become friends and you know enough about each other. But whether that friend is available when you need him / her in the middle of night. It's a acid test. I had such a friend in past and now I have fond memories.
I have very few friends but I will discuss about only one at this moment. Because I think she really touched my heart and mind and at one point of time we were available to each other during crucial phase of life.
Her name is Jaya. She is a doctor by profession and serve the human beings, who are socially discarded. We met when I published a blog on personal behavioural disorder and she had given an advise to me. I do not know how much that advise worked, but it had brought us closure. I live lonely away from family, she lives in a joint family. I had problems related to loneliness and she had some family related problems. We used to talk about our problems day/ night. Thru emails/ sms or phone. We didn't care hot or cold , rain or shine and ensured that we are available to each other during every walk of life. We built up a strong relationship.
Frequent communication brought us more closure. We knew some of the very personal secrets of each other. Even with this kind of relationship, it had its own ups and down. Sometimes we used to fight like any thing. ' Go to Hell' kind of situations were also there.
All of sudden I happened to go out of the country and I got a chance to meet my family and live with them. During this period our interaction was very limited. it was mainly thru email or 1 or 2 small sms. During this period she became the mother of an angel. Her entire attention shifted to her baby and family and profession, I guess.
When I returned to my country, again I fell in same trap...loneliness. I called her, she was delighted to know that I am back. I was expecting to continue the relationship, where I left. But something had changed. Though she was willing to talk but not with that intensity which we had earlier. I thought it was due to increased family responsibility, but she denied any such thing. She had only one complaint, when I was with my family I did not communicate with her.
Now she is not available most of the time. I do not have any other friend with whom I can start over. I just have fond memories of interaction which I had with her. Me and my loneliness, together remembers those days. Although seldom we exchange sms but that is not enough for me. A friend in need is a friend indeed..I am searching such a friend....
I have very few friends but I will discuss about only one at this moment. Because I think she really touched my heart and mind and at one point of time we were available to each other during crucial phase of life.
Her name is Jaya. She is a doctor by profession and serve the human beings, who are socially discarded. We met when I published a blog on personal behavioural disorder and she had given an advise to me. I do not know how much that advise worked, but it had brought us closure. I live lonely away from family, she lives in a joint family. I had problems related to loneliness and she had some family related problems. We used to talk about our problems day/ night. Thru emails/ sms or phone. We didn't care hot or cold , rain or shine and ensured that we are available to each other during every walk of life. We built up a strong relationship.
Frequent communication brought us more closure. We knew some of the very personal secrets of each other. Even with this kind of relationship, it had its own ups and down. Sometimes we used to fight like any thing. ' Go to Hell' kind of situations were also there.
All of sudden I happened to go out of the country and I got a chance to meet my family and live with them. During this period our interaction was very limited. it was mainly thru email or 1 or 2 small sms. During this period she became the mother of an angel. Her entire attention shifted to her baby and family and profession, I guess.
When I returned to my country, again I fell in same trap...loneliness. I called her, she was delighted to know that I am back. I was expecting to continue the relationship, where I left. But something had changed. Though she was willing to talk but not with that intensity which we had earlier. I thought it was due to increased family responsibility, but she denied any such thing. She had only one complaint, when I was with my family I did not communicate with her.
Now she is not available most of the time. I do not have any other friend with whom I can start over. I just have fond memories of interaction which I had with her. Me and my loneliness, together remembers those days. Although seldom we exchange sms but that is not enough for me. A friend in need is a friend indeed..I am searching such a friend....
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